Tuesday, March 22, 2016

I'm back!

Facebook reminded me today that once upon a time I tried to blog.  What a sweet reminder I received today of a night at the movies with my Isaac.  Such sweet memories were relived as I read about my second pregnancy, the faith that got me through it, and the amazing twins that resulted.  Someday my Rufflings will read those few entries and hopefully treasure, the recorded family memories.  

I think I’m going to give this thing a go again.  Yes, I want to record the “Days of Our Lives.” However, there is more to it this time.  I’m a little bit wiser and learning to appreciate the purpose of the “rose” in my rose colored glasses all the more.  

My kids now span three different schools.  The oldest is in High School.  He just got his driver’s license.  I know. The twins are in Middle School and my youngest (not my baby, mind you, my youngest) is in second grade.  They are busy with work, study, sports, and friends - and technology.  There’s an entire series right there: bugging your child and her three friends as they sit together on the couch while  they text one another, discovering Ask.fm, trying to understand the purpose of snapchats. I could go on.   There is a lot of material here.

I work full time now.  In comparison to the part-time days, my house is now truly messy. We never pick up. When I have time to clean and get after the kids, we are all too tired.  Our Ruff House truly is rough.  The sinks are no longer white.  Instead they have developed into a lovely deep shade of ivory.  Every once in a blue moon when someone is coming over we will bleach it out.  There are laundry baskets all over the house with laundry in all stages of completion, or incompletion.  Rose colored glasses anyone?  Thank goodness that my sweet Steve has taken laundry and made it his bitch (this is Lola, you have a potty mouth - my girl’s editorial comment.  I think I’ve earned the right!).  Truly, this man does laundry like it is nobody’s business. We would all be wearing our underwear inside out if it wasn’t for him.   When my beautiful mother comes to visit she can’t stand the filth we live in and, God bless her, she cleans and cleans.  I am ever so thankful.  The few times a year we pay for that Cleaning Service Groupon and when Mami linda comes to visit are the only times our house is ever truly clean.  Some day I should take pictures to make everyone else feel better about the state of their homes. Then we can all just be kinder to ourselves when we realize that we are not alone!  

That is it.  The point of this.  Of me writing again.  We are not alone.  As a working mother, I am not alone and neither are you.  When you get that note from the teacher about not signing the reading log, know that you are not alone.  And, I’m a teacher!  Sigh.

There’s more.  There is going through treatment for an eating disorder. Oh, and discovering I “suffer” from anxiety.  Imagine that!   

I can also write about trying to find God in each day.  Some days (Ok, some months I totally forget about this goal.  Then I pick myself up and say, “Hey God, remember me?”  The beautiful part of our relationship is that he always does.  This has been my goal during Lent this season, to reconnect with God, with JC, and get back into a place where I am in relationship and listening to him, doing the work.  I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.

Well, my girl needs the computer for her, “Academic Life.” So, I must be a good parent and provide access to instructional/learning tools.  

Keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck.  Maybe this time I can keep this thing going for more than a handful of posts.